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Empowerment Insights

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Life Change Articles from Jenny Jarvis Coaching

I Thought He Was Going To Propose

He didn’t.

It hadn’t even crossed his mind.

Have you had times in your life when you had expectations that just didn’t work out?

Looking back, I can see how my expectations completely took over my mind.

Me and my mum had discussed the fact that perhaps, as we were going away for our 3 year anniversary, my boyfriend might propose.

I say might, but I had it all planned out in my head.

It was obvious surely, after 3 years, marriage would be on the cards.


I realised through dinner that not only was he not going to propose, it hadn’t even crossed his mind.

At that point, I should perhaps have backed off and given him some space.

But I was 22 and couldn’t understand why he hadn’t received my brain waves to elicit an engagement.

This manifestation wasn’t working!

Over the next few months, it became really strange.

Every time we went anywhere remotely romantic, I thought there was going to be a proposal.

He was trying to make it special (once I had planted the idea, he then figured he would create a “surprise”).

Surprises were not to be.

My expectations had not been met.

I was manifesting.

Manifesting meant action!

Action however, probably does not mean nagging, feeling anxious, worrying when, if, how.

In the end we got engaged in the middle of the motorway while he had the worst hangover and I was driving from Kent to Scotland 3 months after passing my driving test because of said hangover.

Nah, he did do it properly later that day, as much as I could let him.

We stopped in a hotel in the Lake District, traipsed up a hill and he got down on one knee in front of some sheep.

It wasn’t what either of us really hoped for.

But when you have expectation, you also have disappointment.

I did manifest my engagement and subsequent wedding, but I went about it in a very low vibe way.

I think that played some part in my (ex)husband feeling like a constant disappointment.

I feel sad for both of us that my expectations ruined what should have been a perfect moment.

I didn’t mean it that way,

I didn’t know any better.

Now I do.

When you know better, you can do better.

Things I ask myself when I have expectations:

  • Are they realistic?

  • Is it fair on the other person?

  • Have I expressed what I want clearly or am I expecting them to mind read?

What expectations have you had in the past that have ruined moments for you?

Have you managed to get out of the spiral of expectation and disappointment?

How do you feel about expectations?

Let me know in the comments.

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Jenny Jarvis is a practicing, certified, UK Holistic Life Change Coach and NLP Specialist who has empowered numerous people to live a life of their dreams, unleash their relationship with money and start and grow brands and businesses to great success. A truly inspirational individual, Jenny is also the mum to two amazing teens, a Reiki Master and motivational speaker. She inspires all to harness their greatness through energised coaching sessions, workshops and her membership club. Book a free introductory session with Jenny HERE and discovery how you might work together. Or why not get started with her FREE 'Life Change Kickstart' Mini course HERE


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