Are you looking for a magic wand?
Do you ever wish there was a magic wand to just make it all better?
You could be the person you want to be, get rid of all the rubbish stuff and live the life you want?
I think we all do this from time to time, forgetting that we are the wand.
We are the ones who get to make the decisions for ourselves and then we decide how to act on it.
I understand this isn't as easy for everyone, especially if you are struggling with neurodiversity. Trying to think differently when your brain is already wired in a way that gives you challenges in society can be extra tough, but not impossible.
Finding the strategies to help yourself, giving yourself a break and putting one foot in front of the other is still an option.
Neurodiversity
Often it's our differences that make us who we are.
They are the bits that allow us to do the things we do well. Many people with ADHD/ASC have a special interest for example. That special interest allows them to be amazing in that chosen area.
Did any of you watch Chris Packham's documentary Inside our Autistic Minds? I was blown away by how he was able to illustrate the differences in the way people actually think. I wish there were more in the series. I would have loved to have seen some younger girls who "don't look like" they have autism. I think it's a hot topic at the moment, and not because it's "trendy" but because it's been missed as a diagnosis for so long and, women especially, have struggled by hiding themselves and pretending it's all OK, until it isn't OK anymore and they burn out. The same is true for boys but to a lesser degree.
Speaking to someone the other day about autism, they (mis) informed me that it is very unusual to get a diagnosis after age 8/9. This is totally untrue, that's the norm for boys; girls are much more likely to be diagnosed in teens and twenties and I know of many being diagnosed in their 40s and 50s as they didn't fit the criteria set out with boys in mind.
The reason I am talking about this is, even with neurodiversity, it is possible to make changes. It might be more difficult and you might need a lot more support, but nothing ever has to stay as it is.
I often ask my clients "if you could have your goal today, would you take it" and usually the answer is no. If you have never been asked this question you may be surprised by this. The reason it is no, is that people like the journey. They like to feel they have taken the steps to achieve and grow and without those steps, the end result isn't as satisfying. And the end result is never the end result, there is always the next thing to work towards.
So if you are looking for a magic wand, I want you to think how you can be that for yourself. What can you do today to get you one step closer to your goal?
Using my Tools
This week I have been putting things in place for myself, following my own advice (or that of Mel Robbins). Although I don't have a diagnosis, I am sure I have ADHD. It means I go off track a lot, get distracted from my focus and sometimes remembering to use my tools is a challenge.
This week I have used my tools. I decided that when I wake up in the morning, instead of dozing for several hours, I will get up, no matter how warm and snuggly it is, and start writing. It got me to my desk at 0530 this morning. I'm using the 5 second rule for that.
Then I'm also remembering to high five myself in the mirror.
I've changed some of my negative chatter to positive so I'm not focussing on (and manifesting) my negative thoughts.
I'm constantly reminding myself why I am doing some things (why am I giving up chocolate and puddings during the week - to fit into a dress for a wedding in August and to start feeling happy in my clothes again).
Yesterday I wasn't feeling so good and I dragged myself into the bathroom. I was so hunched over I gave Quasimodo a run for his money. Within a split second I realised what I was doing, I was practicing feeling awful for the day. I stood up straight, shook myself off, had a shower and listened to some upbeat music. I caught myself doing the thing I know we do when we identify as anxious - I was practicing it.
If you are feeling as though life is never going to change, what can you do to help yourself? It may be watching some of my youtube videos, going to the dr for something you are worried about, acknowledging the negative chatter going on in your head or starting that gratitude list you have been meaning to do for months.
Whatever it is, even the small steps are steps.
Don't wait for the magic wand, become the wand.
If you are struggling to find your wand, you might need help, book a call with me to see how you can create magic in your life.
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Jenny Jarvis is a practicing, certified, UK Life Change Coach and NLP Practitioner who has empowered numerous people to live a life of their dreams, unleash their relationship with money and start and grow brands and businesses to great success. A truly inspirational individual, Jenny is also the mum to two amazing teens, a Reiki Master and motivational speaker. She inspires all to harness their greatness through energised coaching sessions, workshops and courses.
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