Expectations make you unhappy
Expectations are probably the one thing that gets in the way of you being happy.
Yes, I know that's a big statement, but I think it's true.
If we had no expectations of ourselves or others, we probably wouldn't feel the burn of disappointment when things don't go to plan, or someone doesn't behave how we want them to.
Recently this was highlighted over 2 mornings. They were pretty usual mornings but with very different feelings.
The first, I woke up at 0545 (as I often do) and thought "I want to get loads done today, I better get up", but my body was stuck to the bed! I stayed that way for 2 hours, beating myself up for not moving.
The following morning I woke up at the same time, the main difference was that Matt was with me so I did what we usually did, tea in bed, relaxing, chatting and got up...at exactly the same time as the day before! Except the day before I beat myself up for 2 hours, because I had an expectation of myself that I wanted to be up and get things done.
I had to really look at myself and see why the 2 starts to the day were so different and also it highlighted other areas in life where this happens.
The right amount of expectations
I'm not saying don't have expectations of ourselves, that can lead to meandering along without any goals or drive. But when the expectations get in the way of even moving out of bed, then is the time to start looking at how they are stopping us.
It's the same in relationships (romantic or otherwise). When we expect something of someone and they don't deliver, we can get annoyed and frustrated. Often we haven't even told the other person what we want from them.
Matt suggested we go for a walk, which I expected would be our usual local meander, but instead he suggested the Peak District. Once again my view of the day changed and out we went.
My expectation was that we would walk over the stepping stones and back again. Not a long walk, more a gentle stroll. The stepping stones had water cascading over them and I knew my feet would get wet ( my walking boots are very old with holes in them).
I hadn't expected that!
We crossed the stones and my feet did get wet, and we decided to keep walking. We put one foot in front of the other until we reached the peak. I'm certainly not as fit as I was 2 years ago but it was exhilarating. It reminded me how much I really love being in the hills.
So, against all expectations, we had a wonderful walk, did quite a bit of climbing and had a relaxing weekend.
Sometimes we expect too much, and sometimes too little, and other times nothing at all. All scenarios are OK if we know how to deal with them.
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Jenny Jarvis is a UK Life Change Coach and NLP Practitioner who has empowered her clients to live a life of their dreams, unleash their relationship with money and start and grow brands and businesses to great success. A truly inspirational individual, Jenny is also the mum to two amazing teens, a Reiki Master and motivational speaker.
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