Do you worry about saying what you think?
Do you remember how you felt about putting your hand up in class?
Were you an eager contributor or did you sit on your hands holding your breath and praying you didn’t get picked if no one else volunteered?
I was probably somewhere in the middle. I always wanted to be involved but it didn’t come easily. Even recently I had an experience that took me straight back to the classroom.
I’m sitting on the front row; a comment comes into my mind.
Do I speak up?
Or should I just keep it to myself?
The same people keep talking.
Maybe I should make my point.
But my heart is racing.
The blood pumps to my head, I feel dizzy.
But if I say nothing, then what?
I sit on my hands for a bit and just as I’ve decided to put my hand up, the moment passes, and my point isn’t relevant anymore. Argh!!!
Then I think of something new, same heart racing, same fuzzy head.
If I don’t speak this time, I never will.
I know I will think about it all day and all night. Why didn’t I just say what I was thinking.
My hand goes up.
I feel so awkward.
I say what’s on my mind.
We have a short discussion.
My head is still fuzzy, my heart is still racing.
Did I sound stressed?
Did I say it right?
Maybe it was a pointless comment.
Prefer to watch a video (or read on)...
Was this anxiety?
I had always labelled this as anxiety. It felt like what I recognised anxiety to be.
I have since learned that anxiety and excitement have exactly the same feeling in your body, it's only how we have labelled it that makes the difference.
Now I know that I can tell myself "this is excitement" and it will override the notion that it is anxiety and I will feel a lot better about it (this takes practice).
What are the others thinking of me?
This all happened only a couple of years ago, during my coaching training.
I know what others thought of me.
They thought I was confident. I know this because I speak to many of them still.
Other than that, they probably don’t remember that I spoke at all. As soon as the moment passed, it was gone from their minds.
Yet I was still feeling the physical reaction of saying one sentence.
Do you feel like that in meetings at work, or even speaking up within the family?
The feelings around putting your own thoughts across are so overwhelming you keep quiet.
I have been working on this for a long time, yet occasionally, when I am out of my comfort zone, I still revert to the heart pounding and head squeezing. The difference is, I will go ahead and speak up. I know that if I don’t, I won’t improve.
Recently, I asked one of my clients how their work was going. They reported that they now say what they want if it’s not in line with what others are saying. They speak up after years of keeping quiet. They also ask for feedback immediately, instead of thinking about it over and over for weeks before the feeling eventually fades. I asked how that feels. Amazing! No one even cares!
People don’t often react in the way your worst fears imagine.
After years of worrying about what people would think, they have realised that people don’t often react in the way your worst fears imagine.
This is not the only client who has said this after working with me.
Another client used to guess what their partner was going to say and how they would react. After working on this, they are now able to state their boundaries and the result is always positive.
Throughout my program, we talk about language, we talk about how others perceive us, we talk about boundaries and confidence.
If you are fed up with keeping quiet and want the boost to start saying how you really feel, my membership will help. We have a supportive community working on building confidence, communication skills and beating self-doubt.
Sometimes it feels a lot easier just to be on the side-lines saying nothing, but I can promise, once you are able to say what you really want, in a constructive way, it can make all the difference to living a fulfilling life.
If you are ready to start taking part in your own life, book a free introductory call.
How can an Introductory Call benefit me?
I know (as someone with introvert tendencies), having a call may feel like the last thing in the world you would want to do. I know that feeling of staring at the phone thinking, I really want to do something but this feels very scary. In all honesty, I still feel the same for a second when the phone starts to ring!
The reason it is important is that we need to know if we want to work with each other. This works 2 ways.
Building a relationship where you feel confident enough to tackle some deep issues with me starts here. Before you part with any money, before you commit to 3, 6 or 12 months deep work, we both need to know it's the right thing for you.
Because I understand how hard it is, booking the introductory call via the website creates the whole initial link. You get the meeting time you want, you receive the zoom link and reminders and then, when the time comes, we have an informal chat about what you want out of all of this. I will guide you the whole way and during this first call, we will already begin to design the life you want.
How I can help
My 1-1 programs will give you the focus, challenge and direction to find what you are looking for.
My membership will surround you with inspiring and positive people.
My Emails, YouTube and Social Media posting will give you the daily boost you need to know you are not alone, others are going through similar things and it is possible to change if you choose to.
Take the first steps towards your own Powerful Life.
Jenny Jarvis is a practicing, certified, UK Holistic Life Change Coach and NLP Practitioner who has empowered numerous people to live a life of their dreams, unleash their relationship with money and start and grow brands and businesses to great success. A truly inspirational individual, Jenny is also the mum to two amazing teens, a Reiki Master and motivational speaker. She inspires all to harness their greatness through energised coaching sessions, workshops and her membership club.
Book a free introductory session with Jenny and discovery how you might work together. Or why not get started with her FREE 'Life Change Kickstart' Mini course