Strong Women Need Help Too!
International Women's Day
I’ve been accused of being a strong woman so many times in my life. I say accused, because often people use it as an excuse as to why they feel they aren’t doing so well but it’s Ok for me because “you are so strong”.
One thing I can tell you is sometimes being strong is exhausting. Sometimes it completely sucks.
I remember being told when I went on anti-depressants that I was “the last person I would expect to need to take those”. Well, so was I but there I was, on anti-depressants and trying to feel OK about it, when after all, I was Wonder Woman.
My grandma was also “Wonder Woman”. I wonder how she really felt. We didn’t ask and she didn’t say, she just got on through the difficulties, even in the last week where we knew she was dying, she was a force to be reckoned with laughing, joking, singing and telling the nurses off. I would love to be able to ask her how things really were but I suspect she didn’t even think about it.
So many generations just getting on with life and being immensely strong.
I heard amazing stories from my maternal grandmother living during the war in Germany and I wonder how she got through it. How did she take a toddler across “no man’s land” in a pram, not knowing if she would be shot or blown up at any moment? I developed a new admiration for this very reserved woman who I loved but didn’t really understand the depths she went to until those late night talks on our travels.
Both my grandmothers lived through challenges we couldn’t even imagine. I wonder how strong I would have been in those circumstance.
You never know how strong you are until you have no choice!
I guess we never really know until we are in it.
I remember the psychiatric nurse telling me I was “living in the wrong house, wrong neighbourhood, had the wrong job and was living as if I was on holiday and it’s your fault you can’t get the right medication because you are insisting on breastfeeding”. Clearly, she didn’t see my as strong, she saw me as all wrong.
My strength in that time came from going to the doctor week after week looking for answers that worked. My strength came from continuing to breastfeed even though I had been told it was preventing me from being well, knowing there was an alternative (it could also have been stopping feeding for my own health if necessary – that takes more strength sometimes). My strength came from looking for help at every turn and if that wasn’t working, what else was there? My strength came from telling that nurse to not come back.
Strength isn’t always the big things, often it’s the small steps of moving forward each day. Getting out of bed, maybe even getting dressed.
When you are in a work environment, and seen as a “strong woman”, that can come with other labels. Bitch, too much, entitled, ball breaker, cold, unfeeling. Generally, none of them are good. But I know that it doesn’t matter how strong you are, if you are going through challenges and feeling you have to go it alone, there is only so much anyone can take before they break.
What to do when you feel broken
Whether break means you tolerate losing yourself and just keep going; whether that means you go to work, go home and not move for the rest of the night; whether it is having a total collapse which shocks everyone around you, breaks all look different.
When I am close to breaking, I recognise it and call my friends, colleagues, coaches and therapists. I use my resources. This often comes after a day or so of despair before I remind myself that I have those things available to me.
That’s one of the reasons I have created my 30 free coaching videos, so when you are struggling to remember your own tools, you can look to these and be reminded you are in control of your reactions, even if you are not in control of your emotions immediately.
30 Free Coaching Videos
If you are fed up of being strong, whether you are a woman, man or identify differently to that, you might need help, book a call with me to see how you can change your life.
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If you you are ready to get started today, book a Free Introductory Call.
How can an Introductory Call benefit me?
Many of my clients are introverts and I know (as someone with introvert tendencies), having a call may feel like the last thing in the world you would want to do. I know that feeling of staring at the phone thinking, I really want to do something but this feels very scary. In all honesty, I still feel the same for a second when the phone starts to ring!
The reason it is important is that we need to know if we want to work with each other. This works 2 ways.
Building a relationship where you feel confident enough to tackle some deep issues with me starts here. Before you part with any money, before you commit to 3, 6 or 12 months deep work, we both need to know it's the right thing for you.
Because I understand how hard it is, booking the introductory call via the website creates the whole initial link. You get the meeting time you want, you receive the zoom link and reminders and then, when the time comes, we have an informal chat about what you want out of all of this. I will guide you the whole way and during this first call, we will already begin to design the life you want.
How I can help
My 1-1 programs will give you the focus, challenge and direction to find what you are looking for.
My Emails, YouTube and Social Media posting will give you the daily boost you need to know you are not alone, others are going through similar things and it is possible to change if you choose to.
Take the first steps towards your own Powerful Life.
Jenny Jarvis is a practicing, certified, UK Life Change Coach and NLP Practitioner who has empowered numerous people to live a life of their dreams, unleash their relationship with money and start and grow brands and businesses to great success. A truly inspirational individual, Jenny is also the mum to two amazing teens, a Reiki Master and motivational speaker. She inspires all to harness their greatness through energised coaching sessions, workshops and courses.
Book a free introductory session with Jenny and discovery how you might work together.