How do I move forward in life when I'm exhausted?
How do you Design Your Life when everything is going wrong?
Your emotions are all over the place, you have kids to look after, you feel as if you are drowning, you are worried about money, there’s a recession coming and now I’m asking you to design your life.
How on earth are you going to find the energy to do that?!
Designing your life isn’t about getting out a massive sheet of paper and drawing a fine line architecture drawing (although it can be if that’s your thing). It’s about consciously deciding you are going to plan out your next steps instead of heading in a random direction hoping the wind will take you somewhere you like, but without really knowing.
It’s like the seed blowing in the wind. Where will it land? Does it land in a garden where the owner finds it, assumes it’s a weed and pulls it out, or perhaps it gets immediately eaten by a bird. Or does it land in a nice garden where there is plenty of space and light and when the owner sees the shoots, it tends to them to help it grow?
The problem the seed has is it’s a game of chance, there are enough seeds in the plant that hopefully some of them find a good spot and will thrive. But we have only got one life. If we let the wind decide our fate, we could end up being eaten by a bird.
This is not to say I am against the idea of manifesting, some kind of fate and the good old saying “what’s for you won’t go by you”. In many ways, this has served me well. But without taking intentional action towards what we want, we are leaving it all up to chance. I’m not a gambler so that just doesn’t suit me (or my “like to be in control” tendencies).
When I talk about designing your life, I talk about looking at the outcome you want and the steps (no matter how small) to get there.
Helpful tools to design a life:
Courage – if you don’t have it yet, we can build it.
Confidence – if you don’t feel confident in this area yet, you can be.
Healthy Money Mindset – while we worry about money, it affects every area of our life.
Willingness to try – I’m on the fence about the word try, often people say it when they have no intention of doing something “do you want to come to my party?”, “I’ll try” is pretty much a no. But if you are willing to give it a go, it’s a step.
Realism - look at yourself with an open mind. If you are constantly thinking your life is everyone else’s fault, it is going to be extra difficult to design your life (because nothing is in your control). If you think everything is your fault, you will stop yourself at every turn.
Be willing to put in work. Creating a new life is work, but it’s worth it.
Time - So many people tell me they don’t have the time, but they do watch whole series on Netflix and scroll on Social Media for hours. Do you really not have the time?
A clear goal – Heard the saying, if we aim for the stars, we may hit the moon? If we aim into the darkness, who knows where we will end up.
Acceptance that things may change along the way, but you will be able to navigate those things.
Support - As I always say, it is possible to do things on your own, read books, watch YouTube, but there is nothing quite like being held accountable and having a non-judgemental cheerleader on your side. So, for me the most important step to designing your future is choose your cheerleader wisely. Remember there will always be people who see you as they have always known you and will not want you to change. Find someone who is willing to come on the journey with you without holding you back or making judgements (to keep you safe in their eyes).
Sleep - do you stay up until late to get things done (when you have also spent hours looking through social media and TV)? I know it's so tempting to have "me time" in the evenings but if you can go to bed and read books/listen to meditations, you will feel so much more energised. Does this feel like an impossible ask? I would love to hear from you if it does.
Questions I would ask my clients:
What is your priority?
If you have kids, check how you feel about prioritising you. Do you get a sense of guilt?
What happens if you don’t prioritise you?
Who benefits from you staying as you are?
Who benefits from you designing a new life?
What happens if life is still like this in 5 year’s time?
Write a list of all the things you want in your life (relationships, money, how you feel about yourself, career). That’s the very first step.
If you are terrified of designing your life and still feel totally overwhelmed, let me know, I’m here to help.
If your relationship ended and you have lost direction, even if you have a new partner, join my Free Facebook Group.
If you want to know how you can work with me to find out who you are and what you want from your life and relationships, the best way is to book a Free Introductory Call.
How can an Introductory Call benefit me?
I know (as someone with introvert tendencies), having a call may feel like the last thing in the world you would want to do. I know that feeling of staring at the phone thinking, I really want to do something but this feels very scary. In all honesty, I still feel the same for a second when the phone starts to ring!
The reason it is important is that we need to know if we want to work with each other. This works 2 ways.
Building a relationship where you feel confident enough to tackle some deep issues with me starts here. Before you part with any money, before you commit to 3, 6 or 12 months deep work, we both need to know it's the right thing for you.
Because I understand how hard it is, booking the introductory call via the website creates the whole initial link. You get the meeting time you want, you receive the zoom link and reminders and then, when the time comes, we have an informal chat about what you want out of all of this. I will guide you the whole way and during this first call, we will already begin to design the life you want.
How I can help
My 1-1 programs will give you the focus, challenge and direction to find what you are looking for.
My membership will surround you with inspiring and positive people.
My Emails, YouTube and Social Media posting will give you the daily boost you need to know you are not alone, others are going through similar things and it is possible to change if you choose to.
Take the first steps towards your own Powerful Life.
Jenny Jarvis is a practicing, certified, UK Life Change Coach and NLP Practitioner who has empowered numerous people to live a life of their dreams, unleash their relationship with money and start and grow brands and businesses to great success. A truly inspirational individual, Jenny is also the mum to two amazing teens, a Reiki Master and motivational speaker. She inspires all to harness their greatness through energised coaching sessions, workshops and her membership club.
Book a free introductory session with Jenny and discovery how you might work together.